24 hours later and I think it safe to say that things are starting to look a little more settled once more, although I guess it depends how you look at life. I know for one that I am less an emotional wreck though having looked at my phone after writing yesterdays blog that there was a text message left on it that should have concerned me deeply and in fact left me not all that worried at all for the person and more sorry for those around them.
Found my birthday present from Davie earlier while sorting through the wicker baskets of jewellery, I feel some what of a bad person for never realising that he knew I couldn't wear Stirling silver and that it is real silver and in the shape of a heart, locket. He really shouldn't have given it to me while in an odd state of drunkenness, but there is such a lovely message inside "You Can Achieve What You Dream". He's not really one for sentimentality, which I have known for years - I feel actually rather stupid that I never realised how much time and effort he'd put into it for me.
He may have a point though, with the 'loss' that was seen on the West End last night so many tears were shed but I forgot what was really my priority. I forgot that I love seeing other people's dreams come true, but I forgot about working on my own.
Not too sure where today has gone, all I know is that after a 'pep' talk from my Nan I know I should feel ashamed, yet I don't. I got a text message saying that my sister was back at uni, but on the drive home someone went into the back of mother's car. I felt nothing. Does that make me a bitch? Heartless? I was more worried for the car and in turn my grandparents. Should the car need any repairs, or replacing mother won't pay, and she'll expect my grandparents too.
And that in itself is one of the reasons that I don't worry, don't look up to her, to a point don't even car. She's never done anything for others, even when me and my sister were children, babies even. It's always been about her. She doesn't care about our dreams, or what makes us, well us!
She knows nothing of giving, time or otherwise. I have such big dreams, but the involve family and friends, but most of all... not her.
When you know what you want, you know who you want it with. Those that love you, and in turn those that you want to share it with. Don't waist time on those that don't care, on those that would slow you down, or stop you getting your dreams all together. Everyone deserves dreams, and as I start working harder towards my own... I ask, do you know what you want? What are your dreams?
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